Friday Deliveries #1

Starting a recurring topic about the boldest, sleekest, most unconventional approaches to software development.

I got this

These programming masterpieces are way ahead of their time, but we shall appreciate them as they deserve. Here are some top notch stunts I’ve ever seen developers do.

• Use staging environment to push data to production environment, for “performance purposes”. And permission issues, of course.

Let’s try this out

• Unknowingly push an experimental feature to production. Found out because of customer compliments.

Glad you liked our little surprise

• Fix error by removing the error message

error = "" // fixed it

• Fix error by removing the error checking

// if (status == 500) then error

• Solve memory overflow by increasing memory limit

ini_set('memory_limit','2048M'); // love me some php

• Solve timeout by removing the timeout.

You just gotta ask yourself “how long can you wait?”

• Redirecting git blame because you know the code is bad. Yes it exists !

Indeed

• Precise, descriptive and unequivocal git commit messages

‘Pronto bs’ - 1 line, 1 file
‘Greg’s dumb suggestions’ - 2 lines, 1 file
‘Gibberish’ - 523 lines, 37 files

• Permafix for automated tests

expect(1).to eq(1) #PASS, ALL DAY BABY

• Build dynamic html on the controller. Much easier :neckbeard:

If it works, it works!

• Wishful coding

let(:weekday) { 'friday' } 

• Store PHP code on the database. Just select and eval :)

Impressive

• Put PHP code on cookie and eval. No hacker will ever expect this!

VERY impressive

• Unexisting models. View/Controller is all you need.

• Import jquery to use it once. “I refuse to write one longer line of code”

OVERKILL IS UNDERRATED

• Import/include error fix: Just move all the code to a single file. No more problems.

I’d love to hear more, let me know your top stunts too!